Taking on the Duty of Uplifting Others While Meeting People Where They Are
During Labor Day Weekend of 2015, I had the sheer delight of co-hosting our first all women’s retreat at Akashas Vedanta Ashram with the beautiful and talented Jennifer Holliday of http://jhollidayhealth.com/. During this retreat we delve deep inside, connecting to our inner Pele (Hawaiian fire Goddess, the expression of divine creative power, passion and purpose, the energy of dynamic action and love) and uncovered strengths we had forgotten we possessed. The journey took us from Presence of mind to Gratitude, through Release and finally to Joy. All of which would not have been accessible without traversing the uneven terrain of the necessary, yet uncomfortable, Vulnerability.
/// Please Note: This article is for men as well as women… No human left behind!!! Lol. ///
This retreat came at a time when I thought I was doing fairly well at practicing Presence of mind, being Grateful for everyone and everything in my life, Releasing what no longer served me and being Joyful. What I didn’t know was that I was about to be caught off guard by the pesky Baby Blues. As I gave into the extreme fatigue that accompanies any new mom, I did not realize that the dark cloud of Depression was rolling into my little town of Charlotte and before I knew what hit me, I was knee deep in the gray abyss of numbness; otherwise known as Post Partum Depression.
People kept asking how I was accomplishing everything I was doing AND taking care of a new infant. I would shrug it off as just coming naturally to me. Well, it was natural until it wasn’t. Faced with an approaching retreat to pull off, numerous other work projects and a baby who needed my daily-undivided attention, I jumped off the cliff into you guessed it… Vulnerability. Little did I know that I was setting the stage for what was about to become the underlying Theme of our retreat for which EVERY lady, retreat leaders included, so bravely embarked upon.
I am one of the lucky people who have an amazing Ohana that consists of a myriad of friends from around the world, sprinkled with family members to top it off. I canceled projects for which I could no longer muster the energy to pull off and called in the cavalry. My greatest friends jumped into action to help bring in the rainbow and sun after the storm. To each and every one of you (you know who you are), I am humbled by your generosity and MAHALO NUI LOA ~ Thank You so very much! See, being vulnerable did NOT come easy. I struggled for three weeks straight, crying and having thoughts that I could not control, which made me deeply sad and left me feeling hopeless and quite frankly… depressed. It wasn’t until a voice inside reminded me, “Charlotte, you are not your thoughts,” that I took the leap into Vulnerability.
I struggled with the thoughts of how I was going to hold space for the processing of so many women when I felt like I could not even hold space for myself at that time. When the impending thoughts were whirling around in my head that I should cancel the retreat and save it for a time when I felt stronger, I finally realized in my darkest moment that I would not be hosting this retreat if it weren’t exactly where I was supposed to be. So I pulled myself up by the bootstraps, prayed, meditated and put one foot in front of the other and allowed the rest to flow.
There were so many realizations, breakthroughs, ups and downs during the retreat, yet the one I want to focus on today is uplifting others and meeting them where they are. Jennifer led this amazing workshop on traveling through the emotions and provided us with an Emotional Guidance Scale (see below). It was in this moment while I was gazing at the chart and listening to the lecture, that I had the “Aha” moment… We are all here to uplift one another. I believe it is our human duty to spread positive energy and although I have had this realization many times before, it was this uplifting of others coupled with meeting people where they are at (and likewise honoring myself where I’m at) that was my game changing moment. It was then that I noted my original state of emotion; depression, powerlessness, despair (all vibrations of fear) and noticed as I looked at it deeper; how I traveled up the ladder of emotions through Contentment until I reached Optimism and was able to Believe in a Positive Outcome, finally catching wind of my Passion again. It was in this very moment, that I realized I was at the top of the scale and feeling utter Joy, Freedom, and Empowerment. When you feel this, it is truly like a high!
So you are on board with uplifting others yet you still are not sure how to do it… My recommendation is to first honor yourself where you are emotionally. Look at the chart below; find where you are today and where you have been the majority of the past week or so. Connect with that emotion, allow it to move through you however it does, (and this is key) WITHOUT judgement. Then, decide to pick an emotion that is within three levels above where you currently are. If you are at jealousy, choose one of the following: hatred/rage, revenge or anger. See what you have to overcome or how you can get to that new more positive level. Once this new emotion is mastered and maneuvering it yourself feels comfortable, take on the responsibility of uplifting others. You don’t have to be at number one to uplift others, you just have to know where you are, know where the other person is and hold space for them to climb that ladder themselves.
Remember, if you are at Optimism and are trying to uplift someone who is at Worry, you can’t expect them to be Optimistic. If you are holding space for them and they move into feeling Overwhelmed, YOU HAVE DONE YOUR JOB AND UPLIFTED THEM… And if you are already at Joy, spread those positive vibes to everyone you see! It’s as simple as a smile, a kind gesture or a hug.
I invite you to make it your job to uplift yourselves and others today and see how it feels! Join us as we Appreciate the Opportunity that was created for all. I thank each of you ladies for your step off of the cliff and for your Presence, Gratitude, ability to Release and your Joy.
~ Aho, Charlotte
“You cannot live by feelings and emotions; you have to live by your intuition and consciousness.” ~ Yogi Bhajan
Emotional Guidance Scale
1JoyAppreciationEmpoweredFreedomLove
2Passion
3EnthusiasmEagernessHappiness
4Positive Expectation Belief
5Optimism
6Hopefulness
7Contentment
8Boredom
9Pessimism
10FrustrationIrritationImpatience
11Overwhelm
12Disappointment
13Doubt
14Worry
15Blame
16Discouragement
17Anger
18Revenge
19HatredRage
20Jealousy
21InsecurityUnworthinessGuilt
22FearGriefDepressionDespairPowerlessness
During Labor Day Weekend of 2015, I had the sheer delight of co-hosting our first all women’s retreat at Akashas Vedanta Ashram with the beautiful and talented Jennifer Holliday of http://jhollidayhealth.com/. During this retreat we delve deep inside, connecting to our inner Pele (Hawaiian fire Goddess, the expression of divine creative power, passion and purpose, the energy of dynamic action and love) and uncovered strengths we had forgotten we possessed. The journey took us from Presence of mind to Gratitude, through Release and finally to Joy. All of which would not have been accessible without traversing the uneven terrain of the necessary, yet uncomfortable, Vulnerability.
/// Please Note: This article is for men as well as women… No human left behind!!! Lol. ///
This retreat came at a time when I thought I was doing fairly well at practicing Presence of mind, being Grateful for everyone and everything in my life, Releasing what no longer served me and being Joyful. What I didn’t know was that I was about to be caught off guard by the pesky Baby Blues. As I gave into the extreme fatigue that accompanies any new mom, I did not realize that the dark cloud of Depression was rolling into my little town of Charlotte and before I knew what hit me, I was knee deep in the gray abyss of numbness; otherwise known as Post Partum Depression.
People kept asking how I was accomplishing everything I was doing AND taking care of a new infant. I would shrug it off as just coming naturally to me. Well, it was natural until it wasn’t. Faced with an approaching retreat to pull off, numerous other work projects and a baby who needed my daily-undivided attention, I jumped off the cliff into you guessed it… Vulnerability. Little did I know that I was setting the stage for what was about to become the underlying Theme of our retreat for which EVERY lady, retreat leaders included, so bravely embarked upon.
I am one of the lucky people who have an amazing Ohana that consists of a myriad of friends from around the world, sprinkled with family members to top it off. I canceled projects for which I could no longer muster the energy to pull off and called in the cavalry. My greatest friends jumped into action to help bring in the rainbow and sun after the storm. To each and every one of you (you know who you are), I am humbled by your generosity and MAHALO NUI LOA ~ Thank You so very much! See, being vulnerable did NOT come easy. I struggled for three weeks straight, crying and having thoughts that I could not control, which made me deeply sad and left me feeling hopeless and quite frankly… depressed. It wasn’t until a voice inside reminded me, “Charlotte, you are not your thoughts,” that I took the leap into Vulnerability.
I struggled with the thoughts of how I was going to hold space for the processing of so many women when I felt like I could not even hold space for myself at that time. When the impending thoughts were whirling around in my head that I should cancel the retreat and save it for a time when I felt stronger, I finally realized in my darkest moment that I would not be hosting this retreat if it weren’t exactly where I was supposed to be. So I pulled myself up by the bootstraps, prayed, meditated and put one foot in front of the other and allowed the rest to flow.
There were so many realizations, breakthroughs, ups and downs during the retreat, yet the one I want to focus on today is uplifting others and meeting them where they are. Jennifer led this amazing workshop on traveling through the emotions and provided us with an Emotional Guidance Scale (see below). It was in this moment while I was gazing at the chart and listening to the lecture, that I had the “Aha” moment… We are all here to uplift one another. I believe it is our human duty to spread positive energy and although I have had this realization many times before, it was this uplifting of others coupled with meeting people where they are at (and likewise honoring myself where I’m at) that was my game changing moment. It was then that I noted my original state of emotion; depression, powerlessness, despair (all vibrations of fear) and noticed as I looked at it deeper; how I traveled up the ladder of emotions through Contentment until I reached Optimism and was able to Believe in a Positive Outcome, finally catching wind of my Passion again. It was in this very moment, that I realized I was at the top of the scale and feeling utter Joy, Freedom, and Empowerment. When you feel this, it is truly like a high!
So you are on board with uplifting others yet you still are not sure how to do it… My recommendation is to first honor yourself where you are emotionally. Look at the chart below; find where you are today and where you have been the majority of the past week or so. Connect with that emotion, allow it to move through you however it does, (and this is key) WITHOUT judgement. Then, decide to pick an emotion that is within three levels above where you currently are. If you are at jealousy, choose one of the following: hatred/rage, revenge or anger. See what you have to overcome or how you can get to that new more positive level. Once this new emotion is mastered and maneuvering it yourself feels comfortable, take on the responsibility of uplifting others. You don’t have to be at number one to uplift others, you just have to know where you are, know where the other person is and hold space for them to climb that ladder themselves.
Remember, if you are at Optimism and are trying to uplift someone who is at Worry, you can’t expect them to be Optimistic. If you are holding space for them and they move into feeling Overwhelmed, YOU HAVE DONE YOUR JOB AND UPLIFTED THEM… And if you are already at Joy, spread those positive vibes to everyone you see! It’s as simple as a smile, a kind gesture or a hug.
I invite you to make it your job to uplift yourselves and others today and see how it feels! Join us as we Appreciate the Opportunity that was created for all. I thank each of you ladies for your step off of the cliff and for your Presence, Gratitude, ability to Release and your Joy.
~ Aho, Charlotte
“You cannot live by feelings and emotions; you have to live by your intuition and consciousness.” ~ Yogi Bhajan
Emotional Guidance Scale
1JoyAppreciationEmpoweredFreedomLove
2Passion
3EnthusiasmEagernessHappiness
4Positive Expectation Belief
5Optimism
6Hopefulness
7Contentment
8Boredom
9Pessimism
10FrustrationIrritationImpatience
11Overwhelm
12Disappointment
13Doubt
14Worry
15Blame
16Discouragement
17Anger
18Revenge
19HatredRage
20Jealousy
21InsecurityUnworthinessGuilt
22FearGriefDepressionDespairPowerlessness
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